She scowled at him. “But I’m not.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?” She had to feel something in regard to how much her life wasn’t moving in the direction she’d planned.
“Well, apartments are really expensive and we would’ve needed a big one—for me, Becket, and all the other women, so no, I’m not bothered. I’m relieved.”
“Okay.” But was she relieved because she’d dodged a bullet or because she found something better? He wanted to be better than that preppy little shit.
She brushed a hand over his hair. “What’s bothering you, Riley?”
“I don’t know.” I think I’m turning into a chick. “I can’t seem to get a handle on my feelings.”
“What sort of feelings?” She sat up. “Are you freaking out? You promised to talk to me if you started having second thoughts about us. Oh my God, is that what this is? Are you having second thoughts?”
“No.” He sat up too. “I’m not...I’m not having second thoughts. I’m...” He didn’t know how to explain what was happening to him. “The other day I heard a Luther Vandross song and it made me emotional. I get home from work and I can’t wait to climb in your bed just to watch you sleep. I worry about shit I never cared about, like should I have a 401K, and do you prefer the suburbs to the city? Then I panic, because I don’t know the answer. Do you like one over the other? And what about children? Do you want children? Some women have a timeframe for that stuff, because their gynecological clock is ticking. Is yours? And if so, how many? Does it piss you off that I’m just a bartender? And what about the way I dress? You never rag on me for the way I dress—”
“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Riley, take a breath.”
He did, big and slow. “Sorry. It’s like everything started piling up on me at once.” When he looked at her she was smiling.
“First of all, it’s a biological clock and mine’s not making a peep. I’m twenty-four and not even thinking about kids yet. Second of all, why would I care that you’re a bartender? I spend my day picking up people’s dry cleaning, making coffee, and getting lunch orders together. Third, I like the way you dress. Fourth, maybe we should both look into 401K’s. I’m not really sure what they are. And lastly, I absolutely love the fact that you watch me when I sleep.”
“Really? That’s not creepy stalker boyfriend territory?”
She shrugged. “It might be to others, but I think it’s sweet. If you were my ex and breaking into my place, then yeah, that would be creepy, but you’re invited. I think it’s romantic.”
He grinned. “Sometimes you snore and get this little bit of drool—”
“Ruining it.”
“Sorry.”
She leaned forward and kissed him. “Why is all this suddenly bothering you?”
“I just...” Honesty? He took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to be embarrassed by me.”
Her brow crinkled. “Embarrassed by you? Why would I be?”
“Well, we’ve been seeing each other for almost two months and the holidays are right around the corner. What are we going to do for Christmas? I don’t want to do separate things and pretend we’re just friends. I want to share the holidays with you as my girlfriend. I don’t know why we’re still hiding our relationship, unless it’s because you’re ashamed of me or maybe it’s just a fling thing to you. I want to introduce you to my friends, but I don’t know if you want to meet them.”
“I’d love to meet your friends, Riley. You should have said something.”
“You would?”
“Yes. And this is not just a fling thing for me. I just didn’t want Rarity knowing about us because we were new and I wasn’t sure if you were using me, or what, and I didn’t want her cramming reality down my throat. If we were making a mistake I wanted the freedom to make it.”
Her words were reassuring until she said that last part. “Using you? Are you serious?” Insulted, he waited for her to explain.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. Emma, I would never take advantage of you.”
Flustered, she waved out her hand. “How was I supposed to know that?”
“Because you know me and the kind of person I am.”
“Don’t get mad, Riley. I’d just gotten over a five-year relationship that ended with me engaged to someone who regularly slept with another woman. I’m still working out some trust issues. I know nothing lasts forever, but I wanted you, even if it was for a blink of forever. Your sister never would’ve understood that, because it was the first time in my life I wanted something enough to not care about the risks.”
She sighed and cupped his face. “Hey. It doesn’t matter to me what anyone else thinks. As long as you get me and I get you, that’s all we need.”
He nodded, but needed her to really get him in that moment. “Some things last forever, Em.”
She shook her head. “Nothing lasts forever, Riley.”
Sadness for what Becket had done to her took hold of him. She should believe love could be unconditional and last forever, even if it was a crock of shit or not in their destiny, it was definitely something she should believe was possible. The truth was she made him believe in such things. She had her whole life ahead of her to become jaded.
“If nothing lasts forever, then I’m glad I was your risk. But I’d rather be your nothing and last forever.” Kissing her he toppled her to the pillows. “Can I be your nothing?”
Her lips curved under his. “You’re not nothing, Riley. You’re everything.”
“You’re everything too.” His body stretched alongside of hers as he nibbled her shoulder.
She sighed and looked into his eyes with such intimacy. “I don’t care if we tell Rarity about us now.”
He sat back on his heels. “Really?” Immeasurable relief derailed his progress to her panties.
She laughed. “Yeah. I trust what we have.”
He jumped out of bed and grabbed his pants off the floor.
“Where are you going?”
“To tell Rarity about us.”
Her eyes widened. “It’s four in the morning!”
No time like the present. “It’ll only take a minute.” He didn’t want her to change her mind. The secrecy was making him insane. Marching down the hall, he knocked on Rarity’s door.
Marla barked from the bed as he entered. “Rarity?”
She jolted upright and gasped. “What? What is it? Is something wrong? Fire?” Lexi lay in a comatose heap by her side.
“No. I just wanted to tell you Emma and me are sleeping together. There’s nothing you can do about it and we’re done keeping our relationship a secret. I love her and that’s that.”
Her eyes made a slow transformation from startled relief to comprehending fury. “What?” his sister shouted, her voice waking her girlfriend.
“We’ll talk about it in the morning, but I thought you should know. Goodnight.” His sister gaped at him and he grinned, quickly shutting the door.
He returned to Emma’s bed, grateful he wouldn’t have to sneak out before dawn. His smile faltered as he noted the look of shock on her face. “What? You said I could tell her.” Did he misunderstand?
She blinked, but didn’t move. “You...love me?”
Fuck. Had he said that out loud? Sighing, he put all his cards on the table. “I think I’ve been in love with you since you farted over the goat.” She didn’t laugh, so he threw out a, “Hashtag baa farts” and stamped it with a finger pound sign.
Okay, this was bad. She swallowed and blinked again only now her eyes were glazed with tears. He rushed to the bed.
“Hey, wait. Don’t cry. Shit. Emma, I’ll take it back. I don’t love you. Most days you make me crazy and I want to throw you off a skyscraper, but I’d race to the street and catch you before you hit the ground, because deep down I know I can’t live without you, but that’s not necessarily love. I mean, when good things happen and you’re not around, sure, I wish you were there, but that’s normal. And some days
I look at you and think you’re cuter than a pigmy marmoset, but that’s just my dirty lust. Blah!”
A tear fell and he really panicked.
“It was an accident! I fell in love with you before I realized it. I don’t even really like you. I can’t stand the way you always pick an animated film over a movie with actual people. And you have this strange fascination with bad 80’s television. Perfect Strangers was not that funny! I can’t stand when you get the remote first and I hate when you’re quiet, because I don’t know if you’re mad at me for doing something stupid, which I probably did, and I get this horrible knot in my stomach. I never had these problems before you came along. It’s really hard dating you, but I can’t stop, because...”
Christ, he was sweating. “Fuck it. I fucking love you, Emma. I’m sorry if that makes you cry, but it’s the truth and I swore I’d always be honest with you. I love you. I’d do anything for you. You’re the syrup to my pancakes.”
She was really crying now, the ugly cry she saved for movies like E.T. and Steel Magnolias. That was never a good cry. “Please say something.”
She sprung and knocked him to his back, her mouth finding his as she kissed him deeply. “I love you too, you stupid, stupid man.”
Heat exploded in his chest as all tension shifted to shock. “You do?”
“Yes. God, Riley, don’t you get it? You saved me. I didn’t realize how many days passed without a single smile until you made me laugh so much my cheeks hurt. I can’t go back to the girl I was. She was so sad and insecure. The girl I am with you, that’s the real me. That’s who I want to be. I like her and I love you for introducing me to that side of myself.”
“Wow.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “That’s a lot of credit, Emma.”
She nestled into his shoulder. “It’s the truth.”
His pride was unfathomable. She loved him. “Say it again,” he whispered.
The soft curl of her smile pressed into his chest. “I love you, Riley.”
Content, the most content he’d ever been, he sighed with a new level of gratification and hugged her. “You’re the mashed potatoes to my gravy.”
She hummed and squeezed him tighter.
“The moose to my squirrel,” he added, in his best Russian accent.
She tapped his chest. “I get it.”
“The bees to my honey.”
“Riley.”
“The Abbott to my Costello.”
“That’s enough.”
“Sorry.” He held her as he stared happily at the ceiling, basking in their new found—“The Frodo to my Sam.”
“That’s it.” She grabbed her pillow and stood.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“To sleep. I have work in a few hours.”
He glanced out the window as the dark sky gave way to shades of plum and sapphire then followed her to the couch. “Let’s go to the roof and make love as the sun rises.”
Her grin was exquisite. “You have a romantic soul, Riley Lockhart.”
He kissed her nose. “I can be charming.” He took the pillow and laced his fingers with hers as he led them to the roof.
****
“She’s fucking awesome, Rarity.”
“I know. Why do you think I picked her to be my best friend?” His sister bit into her falafel and mumbled, “I should cut your dick off.”
“Please don’t. My dick’s very happy at the moment.”
She wiped her mouth. “Seriously, Riley, if you hurt her—”
“I won’t.”
“But if you do—”
“I swear on my balls, I’m not going to hurt her.”
She lowered the sandwich and dropped all facades. “I love her, Riley. I mean, I really love her, like you’re lucky she’s not gay because I’d take her from you in a heartbeat.”
“I love her too—and I’m very grateful she doesn’t like girls. Trust me, we talked about it at length. There are no threesomes in my future.”
“Don’t make me puke.”
He paused while Marla sniffed a mailbox. “Are you mad?”
“That you fuckers kept this a secret from me? Yes.”
“Seriously, Rarity.”
She sighed and tossed her napkin in the trash. “No. I’m hurt. Emma’s my best friend and she fell in love with someone and I didn’t know until two months after the fact. Not like. Love. I don’t even think she loved Becket, Riley. This is a big deal.”
“She was afraid,” he explained, not wanting their relationship to cause problems. “It was new, she was in a delicate state, and she figured you’d warn her away from me.”
“I would have.”
“See?”
Rarity took Marla’s leash and directed them to a bench. His sister’s usually jovial eyes showed the strain of worry. “Am I that judgmental of a friend that she couldn’t tell me?”
They hadn’t kept their relationship a secret to hurt Rarity and it upset him that she felt slighted. “No.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “She was fragile. We didn’t plan it. I swear we were just friends for a minute there, but then... Nothing ever came as natural as loving her, Rare. It’s the easiest and the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“I guess.” Her lips twisted as they sat on a bench. “I’m just sulking because I feel left out.”
“Emma looks at it like she might’ve been making a huge mistake with me, but she wanted to make it anyway. If anyone should be sulking it’s me. I was brought in as the mistake.”
“I guess.” She scrubbed the side of Marla’s face with her fingers, putting the dog in a pleasure coma. “So, you two are serious serious?”
“Yes.”
She laughed.
“What?”
Her mouth hooked into a half-grin. “I’m impressed. You don’t typically have ‘girlfriends’.”
His chest tightened. “What can I say? She makes me want to be a grownup.”
“Look Geppetto, I’m a real boy,” she teased in her best Pinocchio voice.
They sat silently as people exited the glass doors of the law firm. He hated that Emma still worked with Grayson’s father. She’d applied for a couple other jobs, but nothing had panned out yet.
“There she is.” Rarity stood.
As Emma spotted them, her expression transformed with a smile. “Hey! Isn’t this a nice surprise?” Marla nearly knocked her over with an enthusiastic greeting. “Hello, pretty girl.”
He leaned in and kissed her. “Missed you.”
She stilled, cheerful, but nervously glanced at Rarity. It was the first time they’d openly displayed affection since informing his sister of their relationship.
Rarity scrunched up her nose. “It’s just weird. Come on, I think Marla has to poop again and I’m out of bags.” She turned and gave them some space.
“Was that weird?” Emma whispered. “It felt a little weird.”
“We’ll adjust,” he said, taking her hand.
When they reached the apartment, Emma changed into comfortable clothes like she usually did after work. He followed her into her room, enjoying that he could openly be with her whenever. “I wish I didn’t have work tonight. You should come by the bar.”
“I can’t. I promised Rarity we’d have an us night. No you. No Lexi.” He admired her ass as she slid off her stockings and jumped into a pair of sweats.
When she glanced over her shoulder he shook off his ass trance and rejoined the conversation. “What do you guys do?”
“Pillow fights, lingerie, practice kissing, the usual.” She stuck out her tongue and winked.
“Not funny.” In any other case it would be, but not with his sister.
She laughed. “We’re going to order food, watch a movie, and drink cheap wine.”
Jealous, he plopped on her bed and distracted himself with a throw pillow. “What movie?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Smith. A little Brad for me and a little Angelina for her.”
“Oh.” He pouted.
 
; She stilled and faced him. “What’s wrong, Riley? Rarity and I always do stuff like this.”
He tossed the pillow aside. “What are your plans this weekend?”
“Brace yourself, but I have none.”
Perfect. He sat up. “You do now. I’m taking you out. We’re going on our first official date.”
Her face split with a smile. “We are?”
He loved that smile. “Yes. Expect to be dazzled.”
“Where are we going?”
He didn’t have all the details figured out yet, but it was going to be badass. “It’s a surprise.”
Leaning over, she kissed him. “I can’t wait.”
When they returned to the kitchen Rarity was observing them from the couch. He had to leave for work in a few minutes so he was on Emma like white on rice.
Rarity made an obnoxious gagging sound. “All right, enough! I get that you two are all ‘in love’—”
“I find the air quotes insulting,” he quietly stated.
“—but I cannot share an apartment with Morticia and Gomez. We’re going to have to set some ground rules. Anything beyond a casual cuddle is bedroom conduct. There will be no public displays of affection, no French anything, and abso-freaking-lutely no sex on any common area surfaces. Is that clear?”
He cleared his throat and pointed to the couch. “We did it there.”
“Oh my God!” she jumped up.
“And there.” He pointed to the windowsill. “And basically on every other horizontal surface in the loft. Some vertical ones too.”
Emma smacked him on the arm.
Rarity wore a look of absolute revulsion. “We’re bleaching everything.”
He laughed as his sister stomped into her room and slammed the door.
“You’re rotten,” Emma said as she flipped through the takeout menus.
He grabbed her wrist and spun her into his arms. “Cara mia.” He kissed a trail down her neck. “You are dearer to me than all the bats in all the caves in the world.”
Her eyes creased with laughter. “You’re going to be late for work, Gomez.”
He kissed her. “I know. I really gotta go.” He grabbed his jacket. “But hey, that windowsill... we should do that again soon. I think the neighb’s appreciated the show. They thought you were cute too.”